Review: Slay Bells Ring – Operation Klaus, edited by J.R. Handley

Coal is expensive, but bullets aren’t.

Better watch out – better not cry! Santa’s checked his Naughty List twice, and he has decided that lead is less pricey than coal. Slay Bells Ring – Operation Klaus sees Old St. Nick dealing with those who have been bad boys and girls personally.

The story

This wild holiday anthology begins with H.P. Holo’s uproariously funny GameLit short story The Last Great Hunt of Santa Claus and the Candy Goose. Here the heroines of Monster Punk Horizon are enjoying the Monstrous Continent’s version of Christmas: Hallowmas, a holiday that lasts from Halloween to Christmas. But when the dreaded Candy Goose arrives to eat the local kids, the women must find a way to help Santa bring down his mortal enemy once and for all!

A Christmas Ride-Along, by Jonathan Watson, has Santa taking a boy on the Naughty List along on his Christmas routine to learn the true spirit of vigilante justice. Young Jack is already in trouble for carjacking, so if he doesn’t shape up, Santa may have to come for him when he’s an adult! In Michael J. Allen’s Stolen Night, Mobius Cadet Alden uses his powers to help his department maintain goodwill across time and universes – until a group of cyborg dwarves steal his superior officer and their sleigh! Now he has to team up with an interdimensional trucker, but given the man’s distracted attitude, can he rely on him?

Matthew Olaranont’s Operation Hallow’s End has Santa sending the ghouls and monsters of Halloween back to the grave, while Nathan Pedde’s Kris Kringle’s Origins explains that Jolly Old St. Nick got his start as Santa by hunting werewolves. Wild Santa, by G. Clatworthy, finds Santa on a mission to rescue a trafficked little girl from Dark Elves – only to learn there is more to Christmas magic than even he remembers. A Sentinel and Santa follows Robert W. Ross’ married hero and heroine as they guard the Spirit of Christmas Present from demons, while A.M. Stevens’ touching Santa’s Heroes follows the titular character as he seeks to answer the last letter from a boy who believes in him. Young Nate only wants one thing for Christmas: he wants his father home from the Vietnam War. And come hell or high water, Santa intends to see the impossible done. He just needs to recruit a little help to accomplish it….

Slay Bells Ring adds the sound of bullets and explosives to the choruses of bells and angels, and the mixture may surprise some for how it matches the tone of the season. After all, the Reason for the Season came as an Infant King to end the Prince of this world’s reign. That prince didn’t go quietly on the holiest night of the year, so why should his minions?

The characters

The characters are all well-drawn with interesting personalities. While there are variances in how Santa and his ensemble are portrayed, the differences do not strike a reader as too much in either direction. The changes all make sense in context of the tales and are poking fun at the general holiday mythology without mocking or degrading it. A number of parodies and comedies using the popular conception of Old St. Nick could learn a thing or two from all the stories in this anthology, as they have fun without making Santa, his elves, or his reindeer meaningless jokes. Santa is no gag; he’s the roughest, toughest, meanest spirit of Christmas these writers could find. The rest of the world forgot that – but they did not.

The world

Each world is different from the other, and thus memorable in its own right. Some short stories are set in the world of a series which the author has created, so the tales in this collection would count as good introductions to these serials. Every world fits the setting and theme of the holiday without being obnoxious or otherwise “too much” for a reader’s senses or sensibilities.

The politics

One story takes place amidst the current unpleasantness in Eastern Europe. It pokes fun as only dark humor can at the situation while recognizing that it is a terrible event and we all hope it ends soon – particularly for those on the frontlines. That is the extent of the politics in the book, however.

Content warning

There is lots of cursing, a fair bit of gore, and no small amount of horror in this collection. Mature readers will be fine, but this is not an anthology for younger members of the audience.

Who is it for?

Readers who want a series of fun holiday romps that are outside of the wasteland that has become pop culture but which still respect the spirit of Christmas will love this anthology. It brings the right amount of magic, the right amount of fun, and the proper respect for the mythos that is severely lacking in most other forms of entertainment during this season. Anyone hoping to make their favorite reader smile would be wise to pick this collection up as a Christmas gift – especially for themselves!

Why read it?

It’s fun, quirky, and wild. What more could you ask for in a collection about Santa cleaning up the Naughty List? 😉